Domiz

         There are times in life when you see something powerful enough to leave a lasting impression that any photo would fail to do it justice.  Today was one of those times as I went to the Syrian refugee camp at Domiz.  For anyone who hasn’t followed the headlines of the Middle East, Assad’s regime in Syria is desperately clinging to power by brutally repressing the Syrian people with little regard for civilian casualties.  Thousands have been killed, and many more have been displaced.  Many of those that had to flee their homes have now landed in northern Iraq. 

            The camp at Domiz is only a short 15-20 minute drive outside of Duhok on the way to the Mosul Dam, where I often swam in the summer.  Passing through the city of Domiz you eventually come to a meandering dirt road.  In the distance you can see the tents, a clear sign that you have arrived.  There is no more pavement, only dust that is kicked up with any sign of movement.  Over a month ago the BBC reported that over 8,000 Syrians now occupied the camp; my guide, Sherzad, informed us that there were far more tents than the last time he came.  Evidently, Angelina Jolie and her entourage came to tour this very same area just two weeks ago. 

Refugee camps earn the title “tent cities” for a reason; there are rows and rows of transient homes, side by side, extending into the distance.  There is little to no space between the tents and maybe 20 feet separating each row.  As far as amenities there are none.  The few open tents that I saw contained nothing more than the most basic of goods: some clothes, possibly some cooking utensils, and makeshift chairs.  That is about it.  We were told that the first arrivals had electricity from long cables running throughout the camp, as well as water from tanks scattered about.  Newer arrivals, outside the barbed wire gates with an armed guard, are beginning to fill the surrounding areas.  They are not so lucky. 

Before coming to Domiz the initial questions lingering in my mind were, “Is this a good idea?  Is this safe?”  Standing there outside the vehicle, letting everything sink in, it became clear that I was foolish.  Even if I had been in danger, I needed to see this.  I was ashamed for being so concerned with myself when thousands of people before my very eyes were living a destitute existence.  I had neglected to purchase any goods to bring because I had few Iraqi Dinar left, but I also maintained fear of how this whole process would work.  Again, I felt ashamed.  The only thing I brought was my soccer ball, which I quickly threw to a few kids who were eyeing it.  They seemed surprised, yet happy at this gift, and immediately ran away to start playing.  I should have done more. 

These people have had to travel hundreds of miles from their homes just to find safety.  Upon arrival they are reduced to the most basic existence, scraping by on just enough to survive.  As the trunk opened and the food was brought into the light, the scattered people loitering about began to come over.  Many hands were extended as Sherzad began to hand out boxes of bread, one by one.  The beneficiaries were clearly in need, yet remained polite; there was no mass riot and no more than 10 people around the car at a time.  The security guard remained by us the whole time, and we didn’t stray from the periphery of the camp.  By the time the bread had been distributed the latecomers showed clear signs of dejection, but moved along.  The eyes of those all around shared a similar message: things are tough, but move it along. 

The visceral feeling that arose as I was leaving the camp left me in almost complete silence.  In that short ride I sat immersed in my thoughts.  For weeks I have been concerning myself with job hunting, packing, vacations, student loans, etc. To say that these things are inconsequential in the grand scheme of things is the understatement of the century.  I feel a far deeper appreciation for what I do have now that I have seen those that had no choice but to leave it all behind.  This experience reminded me that all my troubles are washed away not by “solving” them, but by alleviating the troubles of others.  After starting to feel jaded, I needed a fresh spark of idealism, even though it came in the most unlikely of places.  

Picture from online:

Thankful Again

* From September 15th *           

           As protests erupt all across the Middle East over a low-budget film insulting Mohammed, I find myself again thankful that I am in the Kurdish enclave of the north.  The amount of craziness permeating the region over a stupid video is actually quite mind-boggling.  It seems that the video is being jumped on by every sheikh and mullah with a radical agenda as a reason to incite the masses.  Most people probably wouldn’t even hear about it as the film is really quite insignificant.  However, anti-Western hardliners will find every reason to lash out and the video was just the next likely excuse to do it. 

            It is quite shameful actually because Islam, in daily life, is nothing like this.  Car-bombs, pelting women with stones, storming embassies, etc. represent the views of a conservative minority. Your average citizens, even here in Kurdistan, are just victims of an inability to critically think for themselves.  This is due to an education system based on pure authority, rigid social structures they must follow, a lack of free media, and religious beliefs that don’t permit you to question anything.  Combined with a dearth of opportunities, they are ripe for misunderstanding and misplaced anger.  This video is a prime example. 

Most Muslims do not hate the West.  They hate our foreign policy adventurism and fawning over Israel, but so do I.  People back home misunderstand this to be a blanket degradation of everything we stand for.  This is partially the medias fault as the only time you see a Muslim on TV they are burning a flag and yelling, “Allah Akbar!” Although the Middle East is behind the West in probably every standard of living, they are finally “waking up.”  The Arab Spring will prove to be a momentous occasion in world history.  I hope that Islam doesn’t creep too much into the newly established democratically elected governments of the region.  I am a fervent believer in the separation of church and state.  However, if that is what the people want in those countries, then so be it.  We might not always like what the people vote for in a democracy, but we must respect it regardless. 

The problem lies, again, in a well-organized and vocal minority.  Governments are condemning the recent attacks, as are many citizens, but I hope that these incidents don’t further inculcate fear over Islam.  The Arab Spring was a great opportunity for the people of the Middle East to finally have their voices heard after years of oppression.  I hope that they don’t let their popular movements become hijacked by the ultraconservative.  The videographer was wrong to make the video but completely within his free speech to do so.  It is natural for a Muslim to get upset about it, but the extent of this backlash is uncalled for…especially since it was a random person, an Egyptian no less, who created it, not any government.  Large and complex topic, but I felt it necessary to muse about it for at least a little bit.  Although I feel safe here in Kurdistan, it is still unsettling to see hordes of angry and violent protestors storming embassies in countries all around you. 

North > South

  When articles like this come out it makes me incredibly thankful I'm in the Kurdish northern part of the country: http://www.wbur.org/2012/09/09/iraq-attacks   On the way back from the conference in Sulaimani we accidentally drove through Kirkuk....a city where a bomb exploded the other day.  It was only a quick drive-through, but nevertheless, news articles take on a different feel when you are that close to the action.  

Against the Tide

            I’m not sure if it is just this university, city, entire area, or perhaps even region, but it is difficult to get past the feeling that you are always swimming against the tide.  Good ideas always seem stifled; hard work gets glossed over; and if something productive does manage to eek its way through the pipeline, an overbearing bureaucracy will quickly stamp it out.  In a nutshell, this place destroys your motivation to do anything more than collect a paycheck, and even that is a difficult process. 

            Today the cold hard reality finally set in: no matter how much groundwork I lay for this Career Development Center, they are going to find some way to ignore it and completely muck it up.  People with no experience will be hired based on connections, or another patchwork of part-time employees will be cobbled together further ignoring the untenable nature of such a situation.  I should have known this already, and part of me probably did, but naively thought I could change the realities of an inefficiency seemingly embedded in the local culture.  At this point, it seems the only reason I am continuing this work at all for the next 3 weeks is to add it to my resume.  Sad, since I really wanted to see it succeed, but true.   It is times like this that I relish the opportunity to go back to America and work with people who, by and large, actually work hard in a meritocratic system.  

Goal = Achieved

           One of the biggest things I learned from my short time at Vector Marketing was that you never get what you want unless you ask for it.  Thankfully, I brought up a goal of mine at the right place and the right time.  I made the ask, and it happened.   Sitting at lunch at Ava’s house, a former student of mine, with her family we were chatting about random things.  Naturally it came up that I was leaving soon.  I also decided to add in, “But I still haven’t accomplished one key goal…I want to shoot an AK-47 wearing all traditional Kurdish clothes.”  To my pleasant surprise, her father said “Ok, let’s go on Saturday.”

            The drive out to this little area took about an hour.  Seven of us were crammed into the SUV and, due to an almost obsequious hospitality, I was lucky enough to get the front.  The car was packed full of stuff for a picnic, but my main foci were not being hung over and getting into the Kurdish garb to pack some heat.  As we arrived the first thing that stood out, as usual, was the view.  The sun was slowly setting behind the surrounding mountains, which made the temperature slightly cooler, but it still shone brightly over the fields. 

            Shortly after, it was time for the action to begin.  One of the sons placed a bottle about 50 meters away; the target was set.  First, we took some shots with a 9mm Beretta.  I had already done that before so I wasn’t overly excited; it was just the warm up for the main event.  Then, I put on the Kurdish clothes.  I was told the name but I forgot about 5 minutes later.  The photo shoot began as I struck different poses with the most common assault rifle in the world today.  When I fired it I expected a greater kickback but it was surprisingly smooth and very easy to handle.  I didn’t hit the small bottle, but it was only my first time shooting a weapon like that. 

            After I took some shots I quickly removed the hat, as my head was sweating, and we went to gather fruits and vegetables.  The fields were stocked with grapes, figs, aubergines, okra, pomegranates, and tomatoes.  We cooked some delicious chicken wings over a small grill, a Kurdish favorite, and then I laid out in the beautiful night sky under the stars.  All in all, it was a really fun day.  

Nearing the End

It has been over a month since I have written.  The end of Ramadan came and went, and I vacationed in Turkey with Florence.  Oh yeah, and I’m now engaged.  Since returning to Kurdistan things have gone well.  With the end so clearly in my sights, how could it not? 

            My role at Career Development Center has expanded a great deal.  When the Director left I took over in an Interim role.  In the United States I would not have been offered such an opportunity, and at a major university it is probably for good reason.  I relish any opportunity to expand my skill set, and my CV, and it now appears that career development is a path I am considering as I apply to jobs.  I want to be able to connect to students, something that is leading me to mostly apply at universities, but career development offers an external portion that allows me to stay connected to the “real” world.  It has certainly been frustrating at times as I feel that I am doing much of the work alone, but my main focus is laying the foundation for the CDC’s success; anything that happens after is on them. 

            One opportunity that the CDC presented which I found to be quite enjoyable was a trip to Sulaimani.  It is about 5 hours away from Duhok but feels much different culturally.  The city has much more bottle shops, bars, and it seems far less conservative than Duhok.  The American University there has some pretty amazing brand new buildings.  The rest of campus is dry and mostly unsightly dirt, but the buildings are top notch.  I also found out that a teacher there makes $6,000/month.  That, combined with working with numerous other Americans, naturally led me to think, “What am I doing in Duhok?” 

            Overall, I am glad that I spent my time here.  Some American friends of mine, a married couple with two young children, recently asked me what I gained from my experience.  At first, it was tough to answer.  It is clearer now.  I know what it is like to be alone and entirely self sufficient.  Living away from home before has certainly provided me with plenty of experience in the American context; however, there is something distinctly different about living 6,000 miles away from everything you know and love.  With much free time, and an inability to connect with most of the population, you are forced to spend time with just you and your thoughts.  The computer provided a much needed release, and living with Samuel and Paige certainly helped give some taste of the West; however, being in Duhok has given a greater opportunity to increase my capacity for: handling diversity, facing challenges you have no control over, and remaining calm no matter what happens. 

            There are many more things that I wish I could have, or should have, accomplished here.  The NGO consulting firm never got off the ground despite my grandiose expectations.  This was a lesson in humility and that just because you are doing the right thing doesn’t mean that it will automatically work.    I never learned Kurdish, or even attempted to, and I probably should have taken greater advantage of this opportunity of language immersion.  I don’t think this will hurt me too much down the road, though.  I did manage to see a fairly great deal of the Kurdistan Region, and long after I leave it will certainly have a special place in my thoughts, despite the setbacks I have faced while here. 

            Another important nugget of wisdom from this experience has been the opportunity to view America from the outside.  We are still looked at as a beacon for many of the people here, and rightfully so, but this experience has certainly changed my view on US foreign policy.  It seems that the most impactful forms of diplomacy aren’t those instituted by the State Department or any official government program; it comes just by having real Americans to talk to, exchange ideas, work together, and see what people are really like.  While I still feel that foreign aid is a necessary tool, I am quite alright with focusing more on providing tangible goods and services to those in need (mosquito nets, hurricane assistance, etc.) rather than capacity building.  I don’t want to turn this into a wonkish discussion of foreign policy nuances as I am admittedly speaking from personal experience and not in-depth research. 

            Overall, the experience has been fruitful.  I have been offered to stay here at the university as full-time Executive Director of the Career Development Center, but I don’t see myself staying in Duhok and Florence has zero desire to even enter the country, regardless of how lucrative we could make the salaries (they provided the carrot that if I stayed they would hire Florence too.)  What is next for me?  Only time will tell.  I set the goal of applying to one job per day since returning to vacation.  That would total 41 before I leave; thus far I have applied to 16, right on schedule.  Locations applied to are literally all over the country.  Where the first interview and offer will come from I don’t yet know. 

As of now, applying for jobs is an exciting process.  There is something alluring about not knowing what is next on the horizon.  However, I am certain that if I don’t have something locked up by January that excitement will turn to desperation as I am unable to collect unemployment in the US due to not having collected a paycheck in the US for a full year.  Until now, I just have to stay positive, steadily keep on plugging away, and I am sure that something will come up.  It is funny because I have applied to entry level positions which I am clearly overqualified for, and this job I am applying to now is nearly a senior level position at a community college.  Just roll the dice and see what comes up…..

A few pics from vacation for the non-Facebook savvy people aka Dad.