The Wait is Killing Me

          With classes over, Samuel gone, and time being the only thing standing between me and vacation, I have lost all patience whatsoever.  I can’t wait to get out of here.  The boredom is absolutely killing me.  At this point my responsibilities for the semester are reduced to grading their final exams.  But they don’t even start until Monday, and the only day I actually have to go into work is Wednesday.  So from now until June 9^th, the night of my departure, I literally have about 6 hours of work.  Under normal circumstances I would be fine with this.  However, living in Kurdistan is no normal circumstance. 

            Yesterday, thankfully, I was able to get a much needed escape from the trappings of my flat for at least a few hours.  Some friends and I took a trip over to the Mosul Dam to go for a dip and relax over a few beers.  It was the most enjoyable time I have had in a while.  Beautiful sun was shining down upon my skin; there was warm, clear water to swim in, and an ice cold beverage to top it off.  For at least a few hours, I had, mentally at least, escaped from Iraq. 

            Looking back I am glad that the International Relations Office and my Department couldn’t come together to draw up a 3-month contract extension for me.  October is far enough away; December would be painful.  I was open to the idea before because I was clueless as to what the future held.  A few months guaranteed salary to cushion my funds certainly couldn’t hurt while I figured it out.  But now, knowing what I want and who I want to be with, I am ready to depart today. 

            Many of the unanswered questions that left me in limbo before have now been answered.  After 1.5 years apart, Florence and I are back together.  This happened about a month ago now, but I didn’t correlate the two issues until recently.  I am ready to leave because I want to start my life with her.  I don’t know specifically what the future holds, but I know she will be in it.  She is not here, hence, I don’t want to be here.  Even if her visa isn’t approved yet, if I am in the US I can start moving towards building something for us.  Right now, I am essentially stuck. 

            There isn’t much I can really do at this point.  I COULD really dive into this additional project that my boss has in store; it is relating to the newly developing career center.  But I can’t even get an email outlining what to do, and to be frank, my desire to do anything here is caput.  If these people can’t help themselves I have no desire to help them.  Working with Kurds is frustrating and quashes your motivation.   I have also been getting calls lately to work some additional side English courses.  I could work an extra 10 hours or so a week and make some additional money, but even that doesn’t sound appealing.  Perhaps once the summer schedule is finalized, if I have enough free time, I’ll consider it, but I really just want to get out.  As soon as I get the ok to get my plane ticket reimbursed I’m buying it so I have a specific date to look forward to.  I hope that my impending vacation ameliorates some of these feelings, but with the end less than 5 months away, I honestly doubt it.